Almost got hit!

man, Driving around today on the way to get an oil change for my car. of course I was running a little late. as I was waiting to turn left I got into the middle of the intersection to wait for the light to turn red on the incoming traffic so that I could turn. as it did I took a chance and pushed through and someone oncoming didn’t realize that the red lights mean stop and almost t-boned me. Holy shit. it was a rush.
I was cautious at first slowly moving through the intersection when I realized that the light was red. there were still a several cars who were running the yellow light and still in the intersection as I was going through it. so I moved slowly but then I saw a car that was still moving through the intersection and I expect them to start slowing down. Then I realized that they weren’t stopping and I slammed on my gas pedal to avoid them in a moment a crazy awareness. after I made it through the intersection I looked back in the mirror and saw that the car had stopped in the middle of the intersection after I assume realizing that they had run a red light and almost destroyed themselves and another car and they had resumed driving.
it’s crazy how many thoughts you can think in the span of a few seconds. It’s not like time slowed down, but I had several fully formed thoughts about just what exactly was happening.I imagined exactly what it would look like if they had crashed into me, I saw my totaled car, I saw the future. I saw the future and i decided that it wasn’t what I wanted and I gunned it to avoid them. I saw both of our situations connected briefly for an infinite moment and I saw that I didn’t want that and pushed through it. I don’t know if my slamming the gas pedal saved me or if the car slamming on the brakes saved me. probably both. I’m grateful for this supreme act of collaboration. All I could do was swear out loud for the next several moments as I kept driving.
These moments always prompt me to think about what I can take away from them. now I could be a little less aggressive when driving sure. but that won’t always protect you. Almost being hit, almost being seriously injured, losing one of the most important assets I own, and potentially killed, in that moment it just reaffirmed the importance of what I am doing. It once again revealed to me the crazy tightrope that we walk on everyday in this life. all of the vagaries and pain, the trifles and trauma, that which we control and that which controls us. Everyday I put my head down and try to do great work. to make something meaningful. to inch just a little bit closer to who i am. intense situations and trauma, while dangerous and scary, when used correctly can become the most powerful tools to help you get closer to knowing yourself as fully as possible.
Will I be a little safer on the roads? yeah… but the main message here is that no matter how hard or scary my life gets I have to keep using it to make something beautiful, to create something, a moment, a song, video, poem or whatever, that brings joy and love to someone else. because it could all be taken from me anytime, whether it’s my fault or not. These moments remind me that I am moving in the right direction, pushing my comfort zone and creating meaning in this life. and I hope these moments do for you too.

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